Faust
by you'vegotMail13
Summary: Mat is broken after he and Mello escaped death kidnapping Takada. Mello has urged him to write down his thoughts, hoping it may help heal the red-headed gamer. Mat and, later on, Mat and Mellos story in its whole. Mat's POV


Faust: Prologue

Rating: M

Words: 706

Pairings: Mello x Matt (yes in that order)

Warnings: Nothing serious in this Chapter

Dedication: To my Mells 3

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><p>Have you ever noticed how beautiful blood is as it runs down ivory skin, fracturing the flawless pale with ruby red? Or how magnificently exquisite the agony is that rips through your body as your lungs slowly fill with fluids and you struggle for those last few breaths , knowing death is upon you? You know you are on deaths doorstep and there is nothing you can do to stop him yet you still struggle. It is a heady feeling born of misery fear and pain. I know this because I, Mat, died for six minutes on January 26, 2010. I was shot thirteen times helping execute a crazy, harebrained scheme to bring down kira. It worked and we succeeded in setting off the chain reaction that lead to Kira's, or should I say Light Yagami's, down fall. But at what cost? We are, all of us involved, changed. I would go so far as to say we are broken even. Me most of all.<p>

When I died there was nothing but emptiness. There was no light at the end of a dark tunnel. Nor was there little pitch-fork wielding demon with their supposed fire and brimstone. it was just a void, an inky blackness with nothing in it. I couldn't feel or smell anything let alone see. It was a nothingness I had been damned to with nothing better to do then think. I will admit, I was scared. Fucking terrified in fact like I had never been before in all of my existence. Those six minutes felt like yeas ticking by slowly so I did the only thing I could do. I thought. a lot. I did nothing _BUT_ think after my initial freak out. And I came to a few conclusions and had some epiphanies, which your bound to when you think that long. None of them were happy.

I realized to start off with I realized when you die, your just gone. There is no heaven or hell or what ever you believe in. then I realized that maybe a handful of people are affected, many who will move on. Few people care whether your alive and kicking or sic feet under. On top of that, those who do will die and your memory with them. All that will remain is a name on a slab of granite located in a cemetery filled with hundreds of similar slabs of granite. If your like me and have no family and only two people close enough to you to know your real name and nature you become a ghost. Nothing more then a mere ghost in the system no one cares about. It makes no difference though. Whether or not people will remember you changes nothing. Your not around to know whether your mourned or not any way.

Epiphanies of this nature change a person, change their outlook of life. Hell, dying changes a person. Never can you go back to being ignorant of such truths, reverse the hands of time to before and make things different.

Mello worries about me I know he does. He tries to hide it but he treads more carefully around me, like he's on eggshells. He thinks I'm blind and don't notice. I'm not fucking blind! I see more the he thinks I do, maybe more than he does himself. But he does see that I'm broken. Not to what extent, I hide that well enough, but he knows I'm not the same old Mattie that followed him around Whammy's or even during the Kira case. I'm still his dog but I'm more likely to turn on him now. He wants me to write down my thought and feelings. For some reason he's got this idea that it may help so I'll do as my master bids. I'll write out my story, well our story. Because that's what this is, what its always been, our story. I should start at the beginning so it makes sense. So I'll start with then and tell the whole, up until now and maybe beyond. But I warn, its not a happy or romantic story. There is happy moments and love. But its all true and it all happened to me.

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><p>AN: Okay so this isnt going to be a happy cheery story but I'm not likely to kill of a main character. I hate doing that so your all safe from that problem. If the story seems a little broken its meant to. Mat isnt in his right mind. This takes place is about a year after Near caught Light. if you like the story so far please review or fav. But I wont make you or hold chapters hostage. thats just not cool.

~Mattie


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